Scott's Case Files

Happy HumanLight!

What the heck is HumanLight, you ask?  So did I.  It's basically a humanist/atheist holiday to celebrate humanistic values.  Why celebrate yet a whole new holiday today?

From what I understand it HumanLight was invented for several reasons.  First, as Dawnkins has noted, a thing that atheism lacks over religion is a sense of community, ceremony, and tradition.  With exceptions, atheists don't really gather together in one place and talk day after day about why we don't believe in gods.  HumanLight is a first step to providing that sense of community as the atheist/humanist community itself grows.  Second, some Christians feel that there are some who are trying to "steal Christmas" from them.  Well, go ahead and wish me a merry Christmas - I'll gladly wish you one back.  Celebrating HumanLight and creating its own tradition steps on fewer toes.

Why the 25th?  Western culture celebrates on this day in one religious sense or another.  HumanLight is simply a way for those who don't worship to truly celebrate the season.

I did not actively celebrate HumanLight this year, but maybe next.  We'll see.  Until then, happy HumanLight, merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, happy Kwanzaa to all...and to all a good night.

Santa Is Comin' To Town!

Now, good ol' Kris Kringle is a cool guy in my book and he should be in yours too.  He brings joy to children in much of the world and asks only that we be good to each other in return (cookies and milk help are bennies).

There are just a few simple rules that you absolutely must follow regarding this wonderfully jolly fellow:

Rule #1: Do NOT try to catch Santa in the act of leaving gifts at your home.

Rule #2: Do NOT try to destroy the world.

Rule #3: Do NOT put alcohol in the egg nog you leave for Santa.

That's it - 3 simple and self-evident rules.  Santa doesn't ask for much!

My Salute To Mom

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Happy V-Day

Try not to get misty while watching this - I dare you.

Suck It Jesus

Oftentimes I am asked what holiday, if any, I celebrate at this general time of year.  I tell them that I do celebrate Christmas to which those of a Christian bent immediately exclaim, "Aha!"  In the face of their glee that I have been caught up in an Atheistic hypocrisy, I explain to them at a metered pace that Santa is the center of my holiday celebration...not some fictitious man-god.

The Christmas holiday is about decorating trees, eating cookies in the shape of snowmen, exchanging gifts, drinking nog (oh nog, how I love thee!), going out of your way to do something nice for others, watching those animated specials from the '70s, and getting ready for the new year.

Sadly, the "War on Christmas" is nothing new to us.  You have some Christians who want to keep the holiday completely associated with the Biblical birth of their Christ and then you have the rest of us who see that the holiday is so separated from the religious celebration and will continue to be so that it's silly to really even argue it.

I found a list of why Jesus is better than Santa Claus.  We might as well discuss why the Tooth Fairy is better than a unicorn.  If I was to make up such a list it would only need one entry to show why Santa is the superior fictional being:

Jesus' main message is, "Love me or else." 
Santa's only message is, "Be good to others."

Pastafarianistic Thoughts From An Atheist

Though I am not a Pastafarian (a worshipper of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, for those uninformed in such things) I do see some merit with the Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts."  And I think the holidays coming up are a good time to follow them, given that this time of year has the highest suicide rate and that something inevitably messes up that feeling of hope for humanity that I experience once a year.

So, without further ado, the Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts":

1. I'd really rather you didn't act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don't believe in me, that's okay. Really, I'm not that vain. Besides, this isn't about them so don't change the subject.
2. I'd really rather you didn't use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don't require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people.
3. I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, Okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey = Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we're talking about fashion and I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia.
4. I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is go fuck yourself, unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change.
5. I'd really rather you didn't challenge the bigoted, misogynistic, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the bitches.
6. I'd really rather you didn't build multi million-dollar churches/temples/mosques/shrines to my noodly goodness when the money could be better spent (take your pick):
   • Ending poverty
   • Curing diseases
   • Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable
     I might be a complex-carbohydrate omniscient being, but I enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I AM the creator.
7. I'd really rather you didn't go around telling people I talk to you. You're not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love your fellow man, can't you take a hint?
8. I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of leather/lubricant/Las Vegas. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something.

Christmas Ponderings

Are the new urinal cakes alot more mint-scented or am I just eating too many candy-canes?

Thanksgiving: Tough Love

You know, in my time having a blog I think that I've said everything about Thanksgiving that I really care to.  The main message is: Be thankful for what you have.  I'm tired of the whining I hear too often everywhere I go these days - my own whining included.  I know your life sucks.  My life has its suckage too.  I'm sure I can find a nearby burn ward, the entire population of which would LOVE to hear you whine about how bad you have it and how life has dealt you a crappy hand...

So there you go - your Tough Love Thanksgiving Moment.  Be thankful for what you have - there are several million people out there who have it far worse than your worst, most haunting nightmares could ever depict.

Happy Thanksgiving!  Please pass the cranberries.

Hope Everyone Had A Great Halloween

Because Scary Mary is heeeeeerrrrrre.....

Early Pop's Day

My family is not one to stand on ceremony, certainly not with keeping to the exact date of a holiday.  Father's Day is no different.  Add to the fact that I'm heading out of town for the weekend and my Dad decided that tonight would be a good night to celebrate.  And celebrate we did.

Dad likes a good movie, so it was out to finally (for him) see 300.  Then to The Outback Steakhouse for some charred cow flesh.  Mmmm(ooo).

My Dad and I haven't always had alot in common as I was growing up, so we both value those things that we do have in common.  One of the stranger things that we both enjoyed while I was growing up was Charlie Chan movies.  For those of you not old enough to be familiar with Charlie Chan, he was basically a Chinese Sherlock Holmes.  He would solve mysteries through observation, deduction, and guile.  For the legwork part of the game he had something like nine sons and they would alternate through the various movies as to which son(s) would be along for the ride.  When speaking of or to the sons, Charlie would call them, "Number <whichever> Son."  To my knowledge, they had no other name.  In turn, they would simply call Charlie, "Pop."  So that's the way my Dad and me do it - he is "Pop" and I am "Number One Son."

I love my Pop and am thankful for all that he has done to shape my life and helping to make me who I am today.  I'm not saying that I am the perfect human being, but as flaws go mine are minor compared to what they easily could have been had he not been there for me.  He has taught me so much through the years.

Though my Pop will never read this post (he has never read a single post) I'll put it here anyway - I don't know what I would have done without you, Pop.